LUXURY RESORT REVIEWS: PARADISUS - LOS CABOS

IT'S ATYPICAL FOR A RESORT TO LEAVE ME WANTING LESS INSTEAD OF MORE.  DON'T GET ME WRONG, PARADISUS ISN'T TERRIBLE, BUT THERE WERE SOME MAJOR IMPROVEMENTS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MADE. 

LET'S START WITH THE LACKLUSTER CHECK-IN PROCESS.  WHILE THE LOBBY IS EXPANSIVE AND INCREDABLY GORGEOUS, TO SAY CHECK-IN WAS JUST AS FLAWLESS WOULD BE A BALD-FACED LIE. 

FROM THE LONG WAIT TIME TO LACK OF PAID UPGRADE OPTIONS; I WAS FRUSTRATED BEYOND MEASURE.  EVEN AFTER MULTIPLE ATTEMPTS TO SECURE A SUITE, WHICH THE WEBSITE SHOWED AT LEAST 4 AVAILABLE, I COULD NOT. 

MY FRUSTRATIONS CARRIED OVER WHEN THERE WAS YET ANOTHER DELAY UNTIL MY ROOM WAS CLEANED.  I SAT IN THE LOBBY FOR NEARLY 2 HOURS AFTER A FULL DAY'S TRAVEL.

THANKFUL THE BAR WAS A MERE 3 FEET AWAY.  THE DOWNFALL.... MY HEAVY CARRYON I HAD TO LUG AROUND UNTIL I COULD RECEIVE ACCESS TO THE ROOM. 

WHEN I GOT THERE, FINALLY, I WAS LET DOWN YET AGAIN. 

WHILE THE FURNISHINGS WERE NICE THE ACCOMMODATIONS WERE MUCH SMALLER THAN MY USUAL....

AND THEN THERE WERE THE ANTS.  YES, ACTUAL ANTS.  A COLONY OF THEM IF YOU WILL. I COULDN'T LEAVE ANYTHING LAYING AROUND IF I DIDN'T WANT TO PICK UP A HANDFULL UPON RETRIEVAL.   

THE FOOD WAS ANOTHER DETRACTOR IN THAT SOME OF IT WAS A BASTARDIZED VERSION OF ITSELF.  IT WAS ALMOST AS IF EACH CUISINE WAS AN IMPERSONATION OF THE DISH. AN IMPOSTER, LIKE THE VEGAN VERSION OF BACON.

THE SAVING GRACE-- THERE WAS ONE EXCLUSIVE RESTAURANT WHICH CAME THROUGH BIGTIME.  RESERVED DURING THE DAY FOR CIRCLE INIFINITE BLACK MEMBERS BUT OPEN TO GENERAL RESERVATIONS AT NIGHT. 

NOW ONTO THE GOOD THINGS...  AN IMPRESSIVE LOBBY, STRONG DRINKS, WELL MAINTAINED GROUNDS, BEAUTIFUL ARCHITECTURE AND LANDSCAPING, A GORGEOUS SWIMMABLE BEACH [EVEN IF THE ROCKS BURNED LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE EVER FELT], CRYSTAL CLEAR WATER, SEAWEED-LESS SAND, AMPLE CABANAS, FRIENDLY STAFF [BESIDES THE RECEPTION DESK], AND QUICK ROOM SERVICE.

WOULD I RETURN?

A QUESTION FOR THE AGES... SIMPLY-- NO.   AND NOT JUST BECAUSE THE RESORT WASN'T STELLAR BUT MORE-SO BECAUSE I'D BE HARD-PRESSED TO RETURN TO ANY PLACE EXCEPT THE MOST IMPECCABLE RESORTS ACROSS THE GLOBE.  SADLY PARADISUS FELL SHORT. 

XOXOX